


Black and Evans: Genderqueer Hogwarts Icons.

by the_secret_wordsmith



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drug Use, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gay Sirius Black, Genderqueer Character, Genderqueer Lily Evans Potter, Genderqueer Sirius Black, Hogwarts Sixth Year, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Recreational Drug Use, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, but the ones in this fic are, not all hufflepuffs are stoners, pre jily, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26195203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_secret_wordsmith/pseuds/the_secret_wordsmith
Summary: Sirius wants all the genders. Lily wants none. They come to an arrangement.
Relationships: Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 75





	Black and Evans: Genderqueer Hogwarts Icons.

Sirius disentangled himself from Remus's limbs, kissing his boyfriend softly on the nose as he grumbled in his sleep. Usually Moony was the first one up in their dorm but Sirius was feeling restless and knew what he needed: several Hufflepuffs would be up at this time doing distinctly Hufflepuff activities by the Hogwarts greenhouses.

He knew Remus would not approve but fortunately the taller boy was quite dead to the world. He kissed him again on the nose and beamed when Remus smiled softly in his sleep. Bloody hell, Sirius loved him so much.

He took a steadying breath as his heart sped up at the sight of Remus's ruffled bed hair, then Sirius slipped on his skinny jeans and leather jacket and headed out.

The castle was quiet as he walked down to the Entrance Hall. He stepped out the doors and took a sharp breath in: it was bloody freezing, the grass lawns glistening with frozen dew drops and his breath catching in the air as though he were already smoking the good stuff. He drew his wand and cast a quick warming charm before hurrying down towards the greenhouses.

It was the slightly unused one right at the back which shielded the Hufflepuffs from the prying eyes of teachers in the castle. Sirius made his way over to it.

A flash of auburn-red brought him up short.

What the hell was Lily Evans, of all people, doing here? He stood round the corner from the spot, the tell-tale smell of weed wafting over to him. He frowned. Then considered.

Maybe if James knew that Lily liked to partake it'd persuade him to come join Sirius on these rare excursions. And if James went then Peter would too. Then Remus might not look with such disappointment at Sirius after these early morning outings.

With that comforting thought, Sirius strode round the corner.

“Alright Black,” called Fenwick from his spot atop a broken stump.

But Sirius only had eyes for Evans. She was sitting with her back to him, clearly frozen in shock at the sound of his name.

“Morning Benjy,” Sirius said in greeting and took the proffered joint, handing over the coins in exchange. He sat down purposefully next to Lily as the Hufflepuffs returned to talking amongst themselves. “Alright, Evans.”

Lily's face had gone bright red. She was wrapped up in a thick anorak with slightly scuffed boots and a baseball cap atop her head. This latter she tugged on as though she could hide her identity from Sirius completely.Sirius snorted, “Don't worry Lily,” he said, “If anything this raises my opinion of you considerably.”

Lily's flush darkened and she turned on him with flashing eyes, “Does Remus know you're down here again?”

Sirius froze, joint partway to his lips. He eyed the girl warily. Lily and Remus did hang out a lot, much to James's chagrin, but only to study; neither really had anyone else willing to study with them on a regular basis. Lily clearly wasn't joking around then.

“I won't tell if you don't?”

Lily appeared to consider this, brows creased, then she gave a sharp nod of her head. “Deal.”

“Alright lads, you two good here?” Fenwick asked as he and the Hufflepuffs got to their feet. “We're heading back now. Make sure no smells linger and be out before nine – that's when Sprout'll be down.”

“Sure thing, Benjy,” Sirius said with a nod.

And the Hufflepuffs left, leaving Sirius and Lily alone. Sirius took a long drag on his joint and leant back against the greenhouse wall.

“So. How long you been coming?”

Lily shrugged, “Not long really. Past couple of weeks. Its helps me with stress and stuff.”

Sirius nodded. “Y'know it can also cause anxiety too, right?”

Lily gave him a look, “I did do my research beforehand, Black.”

“Alright, alright.” He held his hands up in defence.

“What about you?” Lily asked and Sirius sighed: he should've known that was coming. Still, he was feeling pleasantly relaxed now and who knew? Maybe talking to Evans, of all people, might actually help.

“I ran away from home last summer,” he said with a shrug then lifted his hands to show his neatly painted purple nails. “My folks aren't the most understanding of me.” He rubbed at the back of his head, uncomfortably. Should he tell her everything?

Lily was staring intently at his nails, as though they held all the answers to her own problems. “That sucks,” she said softly, “Was it cos you're gay? Or just not bigoted enough for them? I've heard what the Black family's like...” She trailed off, green eyes wide, “Or was it something... else...”

Sirius lowered his joint and fiddled with the lining of his jacket. “Both of those.” He said, “But also... I tried talking to my mum.” He snorted. It was ridiculous really. “I thought maybe she might understand a bit cos she's never fully conformed to what it means to be female, y'know.” He snorted again and shook his head.

“What it means to be female,” Lily repeated the words with eyes wide. Sirius grimaced.

“Only Remus knows,” he said, breathing slowly, “But I don't... I want to be both.”

“Both what?” Lily asked, voice so quiet Sirius almost missed the question.

“Both, or all rather,” he said with a small smile, “That's what it feels more like anyway. I want to be all the genders. All the connotations. I want it all. I want to smell all sweaty and wear leather like a guy, but I also want to wear black high heels and short skirts and... and....” He trailed off, looking away. Lily's eyes were so wide that he was certain if he looked for much longer he'd be drowning in them.

“You want all that,” she said quietly then sighed deeply. She took another drag then spoke, voice soft. “You want all the genders and I want none of them.”

 _That_ got Sirius's attention. He blinked and looked over to her. “You what?”

Lily looked down at the joint in her hands, “I don't want my gender. I don't want to be seen as female or girl or woman. But,” and here she sighed deeply, “ I _really_ don't want to be male either.”

Sirius stared at her, mouth slightly ajar: he didn't understand. Being female was awesome. You could wear dresses and make-up and cute heels and no one judged you for it. Of course, he also loved being male too. So. He shook his head and took a moment to think. Then he came up with a viable solution for both of them.

“Well how about this?” He said, “You give me your female gender and then I'll have both and you'll have none.” He grinned at her and Lily laughed.

“Bloody hell, Sirius,” she said, snorting, “I'm starting to see the appeal. No wonder Remus can't get enough.”

“He can't?” What had Remus been telling Lily about him in their study sessions?

“You'll get nothing more out of me,” Lily said, miming zipping her lips shut, “What he told me was in confidence.”

“All good though, I hope?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Lily said with a wave of her hand, “You two are solid, no worries there.”

The wind picked up and Lily recast a warming charm. The glass in the greenhouse behind them creaked a bit and the grass glinted in the sunlight.

“What about the word 'they'?” Sirius said after a while. Lily looked over to him, frowning slightly.

“What?”

“Well, if you want to escape gender completely,” Sirius said slowly, “Then you'll need to abandon gendered pronouns, right?”

“But 'they' is plural.”

“So what? Language is fluid. It changes. Take control of it.”

“Do you use 'they'?” Lily sounded genuinely interested now.

“I got Remus to try it,” Sirius said slowly, “But I think I prefer gendered pronouns. So I...er...” He felt himself blush as he spoke, “I get him to use 'she' pronouns on me sometimes, only when its us though. I like it.”

“So you like to chop and change?” Lily asked and Sirius gave her a look, but there was no scepticism or contempt in her voice. She was genuinely intrigued. He nodded.

“Yeah, guess so.”

Lily put her joint out and rubbed her hands together thoughtfully, “Alright then.”

“Alright what?”

“I'll try 'they'.”

“You will?” Sirius was excited about this more than he wanted to say. It felt good. True, he had only been joking when he'd said he'd take her unwanted female gender, but somehow with Lily releasing it, letting it go; it really _did_ feel like she was giving it to him. Which was crazy of course, but still.

“Yeah,” they said with a nod, “I've been talking to Mary about this. I'll get her to try 'they' first.”

“Was she alright with it all?” Sirius asked and Lily gave him a look.

“Of course,” they said firmly, “Mary's an angel.”

Sirius snorted, “An _avenging_ angel I think you mean.”

Lily hit him hard on the shoulder. “Don't talk shit about my friends, Sirius.”

“Bloody hell,” Sirius yelped. “Alright, alright. My bad.”

The wind died down and the glass in the greenhouse creaked again.

“But you're alright,” Lily said after another moment of silence, “We should hang out more.”

“Yeah,” Sirius nodded in agreement. It would probably annoy James or else make James a million times more annoying, but still. Lily was cool. They understood him and he seemed to understand them too.

“You could come study with Remus and me,” they said. Sirius considered.

“Nah,” he said after a moment, “If I'm hanging out with Remus, I want to be able to – y'know, do stuff.”

“Nope,” Lily said, getting to their feet quickly, “I did not need to hear that.” They bit their lip and looked back down at him, “I'm not gonna come back here, I don't think. If we're gonna hang out and talk about this stuff, let's not do it high.”

“Alright then.”

“Alright.” Lily gave him a wink and drew their anorak tighter around themselves, “See you around then, Black.” And they walked away, passing quickly out of sight behind the disused greenhouse.

Sirius sat there for a moment longer in thought. Then he glanced down, caught sight of his purple nails and beamed. Alright then: it seemed that Sirius and Remus now had a cool new friend in common.

And Lily Evans was pretty bloody cool, weren't they?

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope you enjoyed reading that as much as I enjoyed writing it! 
> 
> Have a nice day :P


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